Monday, June 30, 2014

Breastfeeding Ups & Downs

Clyde is 3 weeks old today. The breastfeeding journey has been tough, but at least I did much better than my previous journey. 

3 years ago, I was a 25 year old mom with no experience at all. Breastfeeding looks so easy and I thought it will come naturally; pop the baby to your (.)(.) and the milk will flow. I didn't even think to stock up formula milk. Reality is that it is so difficult for first time mothers, especially those who do not have peers to share their birth/breastfeeding experience with you. After going through 16 hours of labor with no progression, I was wheeled into the op theatre only to find that my epidural is not working well and to undergo GA. My body full of drugs, I was just drifting in and out of sleep during the optimal timing for breastfeeding. The pain of the c section wound was also not something I expected. No one told me the existence of a binder. I recalled getting out of bed to walk and while getting back into bed, I lost my balance and fell back. It felt as if the wound tore and the pain brought tears to my eyes, much to the shock of the husband standing helplessly next to me. I struggled to walk and breastfeed without a binder until a nurse put it on for me on day 3. 

Latching was also, not as easy as it looks. P had jaundice and was very sleepy. Getting her to latch was equivalent to asking a person administered with GA to do a dance. On occasions she was awake, she gets so hungry (and angry) that latching becomes a battle, with sore nipples declaring her as the winner. No one told me breastfeeding hurts so bad. My supply didn't come in during my hospital stay, so P was supplemented with fm. I didn't bother latching her, and even went to the nursery to ask to syringe feed fm to her myself. 

My new home was ready at that time, but hubby was doing a sales job which required him to meet clients after work, so we made a decision to do confinement at my mom's place so that someone can look after me. When we got back, it was a blurry chain of events. Baby cried, I latched, she rejects and cried even more. Someone rushed out to buy fm, and since we didn't have syringes, she was fed with bottle and my breastfeeding journey went downhill from there. Everyone around me told me I didn't have milk, and that I should not latch her because she won't get enough from me. The introduction of the bottle also made her very frustrated with my slow flow, and each feeding session leaves me panicking. At one time, P cried so badly that my mom simply took her away from me and made fm for her. I lost count of the amount of tears I shed during that first week. 

Since latching is fraught with difficulties, I resorted to pumping instead. Equipped with a Medela Swing, I set my alarm for every 3 hours and sat at the dining table to pump for 45 min. Despite my efforts, each session yield only about 20ml, which P takes 5s to finish before yelling for more milk. By the time I wash up and sterilise everything, I only had 1.5 hours of sleep before the whole cycle repeats. I attributed my low yield to the pump being faulty and spent a lot of time troubleshooting online. A lot of articles point to wrong breast shield size, so I went out and spent a bomb on the entire range of breast shield sizes. I tried a second hand Avent Isis that a relative passed to me and the yield is the same. I was getting crazy and depressed due to breastfeeding, exacerbated by the lack of sleep. Hubby could not bear it any longer during one of my wee hours pump session that he flared up at me and told me to go to bed. He must have been vey stressed too, for I woke up one night and found him rocking a bolster by the window, while P sleeps peacefully in her playpen. 

P, on the other hand, was thriving and packing on pounds under fm. She gulps down her fm very quickly and goes back to sleep after that. The routine becomes make fm, latch, baby cries, feed fm. The only good thing about being on 90% fm from birth is that her jaundice cleared quickly. When she hit the 2 months mark, I stopped latching and pumping altogether. 

This time round, I was much better prepared. It helped that my operation went so well this time, and a binder was put on for me right after the op. We stocked up a tin of Nan Pro 1 a week before birth. True enough, my milk also didn't come in during the hospital stay. We asked to supplement with fm during the stay as PD commented C is developing mild jaundice. At the same time, I made effort to learn the right latch from LC. I used to bring boob to baby instead of baby to boob, managed to correct that this time round. LC recommended I pump every 3 hours just to stimulate, so I rented a hospital pump during the hospital stay and did that. I consulted the LC again before going home and mastered the football hold, which came in handy in avoiding contact with my wound. Back home, I latched as much as possible and milk started coming in at day 5. I pumped but yield is only 10ml. Refusing to acknowledge 10ml is all I have, I continued to latch and actually managed to tbf C from Day 6 onwards. I only realised it on Day 7 that he usually drifts back to sleep after latch, looking very contented. 

Today is Day 21, and my pump yield is still at 30ml. Even my new Ameda Lactaline dual pump couldn't yield anything more than that. I got out my medela swing to try and the result is also the same. It's as if my boobs couldn't respond to pumps. C is churning out at least 8 soiled diapers a day, so he is definitely getting enough from direct latch. I couldn't find much info about low pump yield online, sets me wondering if I'm the only one with this issue. I'm not sure how to deal with it when I get back to work (seems like a waste of time sitting at my desk for 45 min and pumping 30ml, which can't even feed C for 1 session), but I will continue direct latch and see how it goes from there. It is likely I have to switch back to fm when I return to work, but at least I will have tbf C for close to 4 months when that time comes.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Meet Baby Clyde

Clyde greeted the world on 9 Jun 2014 (Mon) at 1.08 PM via elective c section after 40w3d. He weighs in at 3.26kg and 51cm. 
Birth story
My day started early with the alarm ringing at 6 AM. With elective c section, I actually had to fast for 6 hours before the operation. Since the operation was scheduled for 12.30 PM, I decided to wake up early to have my breakfast (which I realised later was a good decision as I wasn't allowed to eat until 26 hours later).

At 10.15am, hubby and I set off for Mount Alvernia Hospital. We were supposed to reach 2 hours before the operation so that the admission and necessary checks can be done. Admission took longer than I expected and that's also when I realised the documents given to me by my gynae's assistants did not contain the doctor's admission letter. Luckily, that doesn't hold up the admission process much. We were briefed on the hospital charges and the hospital also collected a deposit of $4400 via credit card. We wanted a single room, but they only had a double bed at that point in time, so I had to sign a form indicating I want to be on wait list for the single. 

We were told to get a seat while the counter staff prepares all the documents and get a concierge staff to see us to our ward. Hubby went in search of food and came back with Subway. We headed up and were brought to the nurses and found I was assigned room 322, which was super close to the nursery. Stole a peek at the babies and they all look so alike and adorable. 

The nurse ran us through the room facilities and prepared me for the op. I was shaved (down there) and had some cold substance injected into the butt to clear my bowels. 5 min before the scheduled operation time, I was asked to change into a hospital gown and got onto the mobile bed for them to wheel me to op theatre. Hubby grabbed the DSLR camera we borrowed from his sister and off we go. 

I was pushed to the waiting area while hubby was asked to wait outside until he's called. They piled me with blankets as it was cold there. I was told that my gynae has another patient before me, so it was a 15 min wait before she came. From there, everything fast forwarded. They wheeled me into op theatre 2 and a very friendly anaesthetist (Serene Leo) greeted me. She asked me about my previous csect experience and I told her my epidural didn't work last time and I had to go through GA in the end. She told me she will do her best and asked me not to worry. The epidural was administered very professionally and I didn't feel much discomfort. They tried pinching me to confirm there's no pain and started the operation. Hubby was asked to enter at this time and his jaw dropped (causing his mask to fell off) when he saw part of the work that my Gynae is doing, haha. My view was totally blocked by a screen and all I could see was hubby to my right and anaesthetist to my left. According to hubby's description, Gynae cut and pull up each layer, before turning the exterior inside out. In the midst of the op, Gynae commented that bb still refuse to come out and that my vbac attempt would have failed if I tried. The anaesthetist and another medical staff had to push my tummy downwards to help baby come out. I felt a relief of pressure when the baby came out. The whole theatre started laughing when baby let out his first cry because they have yet to cut his umbilical cord. Hubby told me he has 2 rounds of cord around his neck, and I guess God has his plans for me to go through csect instead of vbac for baby's safety. 

He was cleaned up quickly and brought to me to have a look, and it was love at first sight. We took our first family picture before he was escorted to the nursery by hubby. Gynae took some time to stitch me up and I was eventually sent back to the ward to rest. After a short rest in the ward, I was informed that a single room is available and I will be moved to ward 328 St Lawrence Ward. Hubby was nowhere to be seen. I rested in my new room and awoke to the sounds of my #1's voice. Turned out hubby went back to fetch P after he was done at the nursery. Hubby went to get C while P and I had a mini celebratory bonding session. 

Guess what's P's reaction when she first saw C? "Call Jie Jie!" was her first sentence to didi. We were so tickled, haha. That's the birth story of C - Born on 9 June 2014 (Monday) at 1.08PM after 40w3d in mommy's tummy. Birth weight 3260g, length 51cm, head circumference 36cm. 

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Womb Service - Last Day of Operation

Womb service has taken its last order. I had my fill of bird's nest, durian (that costs $80 for 3) and a final dinner at Kenny Rogers today. 

My c section is scheduled for 12.30pm tomorrow, and I needed to fast for 6 hours beforehand. That means no more food from 6.30am onwards. Gosh I wonder if I can survive. By the time I finish the op and feel good enough to eat, it must have been close to evening time already.

Had a family gathering at hubby's side today to celebrate his grandpa's birthday. Many are asking me how I feel. In actual fact, I'm not feeling much. Maybe the reality will only set in when I reach the hospital tomorrow. Clyde is still very comfy and up to his usual "kickboxing" when I lay down on the bed at night. It's so routine by now that I just expect him to be in there all the way. 

P has been suffering a bout of constipation and cried madly (according to my mom) this morning because she couldn't poop. She finally released after we got home from dinner, so that's one thing off my mind. She definitely seems very excited when I told her she will be meeting her new brother tomorrow. I sure hope she can get used to Clyde's addition without the horror stories I heard from friends. 

Ending off the night with a mother's prayer.

Gosh, can hardly believe I will be a mother of two tomorrow! It's been a great 40w3d journey with Clyde. See you tomorrow my darling!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Final gynae visit

I had my final gynae visit today. Clyde shows no signs of coming out, and when gynae checked for dilation, she said it was at most 1cm and still very thick. It doesn't look like labor will start on its own anytime soon. I will hit Week 40 this Friday and it's not a good sign. 

A c-section has been scheduled for next Monday. We had initially wanted to go with this Friday, but gynae warned us that the date is popular and the operating theatre might not be available. Hubby was also concerned that single rooms will not be available for me to rest in, so after much deliberation, we've decided to push it out to next Monday. 

Gynae arranged for me to do a CTG since I'm going to be past due date. She wanted to ensure that baby's heartbeat is good and that I'm not having any contractions. The CTG went well and I was allowed to go home. 

Having very mixed feelings now about a repeated c-section. I hope the recovery will not be as traumatizing as my first.