3 years ago, I was a 25 year old mom with no experience at all. Breastfeeding looks so easy and I thought it will come naturally; pop the baby to your (.)(.) and the milk will flow. I didn't even think to stock up formula milk. Reality is that it is so difficult for first time mothers, especially those who do not have peers to share their birth/breastfeeding experience with you. After going through 16 hours of labor with no progression, I was wheeled into the op theatre only to find that my epidural is not working well and to undergo GA. My body full of drugs, I was just drifting in and out of sleep during the optimal timing for breastfeeding. The pain of the c section wound was also not something I expected. No one told me the existence of a binder. I recalled getting out of bed to walk and while getting back into bed, I lost my balance and fell back. It felt as if the wound tore and the pain brought tears to my eyes, much to the shock of the husband standing helplessly next to me. I struggled to walk and breastfeed without a binder until a nurse put it on for me on day 3.
Latching was also, not as easy as it looks. P had jaundice and was very sleepy. Getting her to latch was equivalent to asking a person administered with GA to do a dance. On occasions she was awake, she gets so hungry (and angry) that latching becomes a battle, with sore nipples declaring her as the winner. No one told me breastfeeding hurts so bad. My supply didn't come in during my hospital stay, so P was supplemented with fm. I didn't bother latching her, and even went to the nursery to ask to syringe feed fm to her myself.
My new home was ready at that time, but hubby was doing a sales job which required him to meet clients after work, so we made a decision to do confinement at my mom's place so that someone can look after me. When we got back, it was a blurry chain of events. Baby cried, I latched, she rejects and cried even more. Someone rushed out to buy fm, and since we didn't have syringes, she was fed with bottle and my breastfeeding journey went downhill from there. Everyone around me told me I didn't have milk, and that I should not latch her because she won't get enough from me. The introduction of the bottle also made her very frustrated with my slow flow, and each feeding session leaves me panicking. At one time, P cried so badly that my mom simply took her away from me and made fm for her. I lost count of the amount of tears I shed during that first week.
Since latching is fraught with difficulties, I resorted to pumping instead. Equipped with a Medela Swing, I set my alarm for every 3 hours and sat at the dining table to pump for 45 min. Despite my efforts, each session yield only about 20ml, which P takes 5s to finish before yelling for more milk. By the time I wash up and sterilise everything, I only had 1.5 hours of sleep before the whole cycle repeats. I attributed my low yield to the pump being faulty and spent a lot of time troubleshooting online. A lot of articles point to wrong breast shield size, so I went out and spent a bomb on the entire range of breast shield sizes. I tried a second hand Avent Isis that a relative passed to me and the yield is the same. I was getting crazy and depressed due to breastfeeding, exacerbated by the lack of sleep. Hubby could not bear it any longer during one of my wee hours pump session that he flared up at me and told me to go to bed. He must have been vey stressed too, for I woke up one night and found him rocking a bolster by the window, while P sleeps peacefully in her playpen.
P, on the other hand, was thriving and packing on pounds under fm. She gulps down her fm very quickly and goes back to sleep after that. The routine becomes make fm, latch, baby cries, feed fm. The only good thing about being on 90% fm from birth is that her jaundice cleared quickly. When she hit the 2 months mark, I stopped latching and pumping altogether.
This time round, I was much better prepared. It helped that my operation went so well this time, and a binder was put on for me right after the op. We stocked up a tin of Nan Pro 1 a week before birth. True enough, my milk also didn't come in during the hospital stay. We asked to supplement with fm during the stay as PD commented C is developing mild jaundice. At the same time, I made effort to learn the right latch from LC. I used to bring boob to baby instead of baby to boob, managed to correct that this time round. LC recommended I pump every 3 hours just to stimulate, so I rented a hospital pump during the hospital stay and did that. I consulted the LC again before going home and mastered the football hold, which came in handy in avoiding contact with my wound. Back home, I latched as much as possible and milk started coming in at day 5. I pumped but yield is only 10ml. Refusing to acknowledge 10ml is all I have, I continued to latch and actually managed to tbf C from Day 6 onwards. I only realised it on Day 7 that he usually drifts back to sleep after latch, looking very contented.
Today is Day 21, and my pump yield is still at 30ml. Even my new Ameda Lactaline dual pump couldn't yield anything more than that. I got out my medela swing to try and the result is also the same. It's as if my boobs couldn't respond to pumps. C is churning out at least 8 soiled diapers a day, so he is definitely getting enough from direct latch. I couldn't find much info about low pump yield online, sets me wondering if I'm the only one with this issue. I'm not sure how to deal with it when I get back to work (seems like a waste of time sitting at my desk for 45 min and pumping 30ml, which can't even feed C for 1 session), but I will continue direct latch and see how it goes from there. It is likely I have to switch back to fm when I return to work, but at least I will have tbf C for close to 4 months when that time comes.
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